人们常说笑是最好的良药。我们每天都需要开怀大笑。它对于保持我们健康和精神饱满非常有用。下面是一些干净的笑话，我们希望能让您开心起来，让您脸上露出笑容。看得开心！
注意：这些是英语笑话，因此最好通过阅读英语来享受它们。 笑话在中文翻译中大多不好笑。 因此，很抱歉没有中文翻译。
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents!
Why should you never trust stairs?
They’re always up to something.
Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
He got fired.
What does a house wear?
Address!
How do you measure a snake?
In inches—they don’t have feet.
Why are toilets always so good at poker?
They always get a flush.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands.
What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.
Where should you go in the room if you’re feeling cold?
The corner—they’re usually 90 degrees.
Why are crabs so bad at sharing?
Because they’re all shellfish.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead. I’ll hang around.
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste, mostly.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
What kind of shoes does a spy wear?
Sneakers.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump.
What did they give the guy that invented the door knocker?
A No-bell prize.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, “Dam.”
What do you get when 9 ants move in with his buddy?
Tenants.
I have a lot of jokes about unemployment, but none of them work.
Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments?
Mount Rushmore.
Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
Because he always has a great fall.
It’s always windy in a sports arena.
All those fans.
What bow can’t be tied?
A rainbow.
People think “icy” is the easiest word to spell. Come to think of it, I see why.
Can February March?
No, but April May.
What building in New York has the most stories?
The public library.
What’s the easiest way to get straight As?
Use a ruler.
What’s a balloon’s least favorite type of music?
Pop.
What time does a duck wake up?
The quack of dawn.
How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them!
What do you call a parade of rabbits marching backward?
A receding hare line.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What did the nose say to the finger?
“Quit picking on me.”
How does a dog stop a video?
By hitting the paws button.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast!
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why couldn’t the astronaut land on the moon?
Because it was full.
Which U.S. state is famous for its extra-small soft drinks?
Minnesota!
Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?
She was a little horse!
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm!
Why was the coach yelling at a vending machine?
He wanted his quarter back.
What type of snake do you find on a car?
A windshield viper!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer!
Someone complimented my parking today!
They left a sweet note on my windshield that said “parking fine.”
Why don’t leopards like to play hide-and-seek?
Because they’re always spotted!
What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisssssstory!
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb!
What animal always shows up to the baseball game?
A bat!
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
What is a tornado’s favorite game?
Twister!
What type of bird works at a construction site?
A crane!
What vehicle has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make everything up!
What kind of water can’t freeze?
Hot water!
Why is grass so dangerous?
Because it’s full of blades!